Silly Homespun Brain Jokes
By: Curtis Kelly
Okay, I don’t claim to be much of a comedian, but I just can’t stop my brain from making silly brain jokes now and then. Some require knowledge about the brain to get them, and maybe cultural knowledge. Feel free to punish yourself:
Did you hear about the neuron who got caught at work playing with Sin apps?
He got fired and lost his potential.
When Bic pens were first invented in the 1890’s they used wood. The straight narrow limbs of willow trees were perfect. Naturally prices were high, so do you know what happened once plastic became available?
The limb Bic system was rejected.
(Neuroscientists of this decade reject the notion that a limbic system exists.)
I went back to my alma mater, Berkeley, to reminisce on those days in the sixties when we experimented with drugs, sex, and ideas.
That Hippie Campus is full of memories.
Two cowboys in Texas were talking. The one by the fire said:
“Ouch! The rest of that apple you just threw away hit me on the head! Watch it!”
“How do you know it was mine?”
“You were standing right over there eating an apple!”
“That wasn’t me. I ate an apple, that’s true, but not there. I was kneeling next to my saddle.”
“Not standing? Whatever. Then I got hit by your kneel core Tex.”
The Romanian tech said: Dis new security camera sysdem, to protect the prime minister, pecks up on any fast hand motion in the crowd zo dat ve can spot shooters before they fire. Dis new varsion, 2.03 is almost parfect. Da last varsion focused in on ALL da hand movements, even old ladies waving. Da new varsion eliminates that problem. Has sub routine for osolating gramma waves.
(A fascinating area of research is brain oscillations of gamma waves)
Comets are my favorite astro sights.
(astrocytes, brain support cells)
Did you hear about the guy who had temper problems? He got angry so often the transmission speeds of the related neurons in his amygdala quadrupled. That’s what happens when you get lipid with rage.
(lipid wrapped around neurons increase their firing speed manyfold.)
Curtis Kelly has too much free time, and this brain that he just can’t keep from making bad jokes about almost anything. They are usually made more for his own enjoyment than to please (or torture) others. His family already wants to send him to a home.